So, I’m watching Star Trek Voyager, and while it has it’s ups and downs it still suffers from the same movie and TV directing errors that ALL movies and TV shows suffer from. And I mean all. If you know of one that doesn’t, leave a comment.
So what is this error? I’ll set a generic scene:
“Detective, did you ID the perp?”
“I was just on my way to see, Neo. I’m sure he enhanced the photo to get a good match”
Violent loud tapping is heard in the small office, where the quirky (insert some trendy thing that everyone knows but hardly anyone sees anymore, like goth, punk, etc) computer geek furiously types away.
See it? No, its not the generic by now misfit (c’mon, seriously, you don’t need to stand out with pink hair. Your mind is what makes you stand out) but its the simple and invariably overlooked detail of…
NOBODY EVER USES A FRIGGIN MOUSE!
Really, what is this? 1985? Do you know anyone that never touches a mouse and uses just a keyboard? So why do movies and shows always portray the cyber geek drowned out by the loudest keyboard possible?
Are we viewers that dumb? Some of us are, sure. But most of us are not THAT dumb. But these directors seem to think we are. So, cry havoc and let slip the mice of tor. (Do you know how hard it is to find a computer related word that rhymes with war? tor is the darkweb browser for those that don’t know). If it’s about drama, then find another means to convey it. Fast typing is more dynamic than moving a mouse, but we all see it, and we all mock you when you use such a cheap dramatic ploy!
The other thing, in the same Voyager episode, several times crew members copy hard drives by pointing tricorders at the monitor. Really? Because that’s where your hard drive is? (No, they’re not all Macs).
Or how about disabling a computer control bomb or whatever it was (Some NCIS episode) where Gibbs shoots the screen and hurray! the day is saved. Again, are we that dumb? If you want drama have the computer case explode in sparks from the bullets. And screens scrambling or whatever. So moral of this story is:
STOP SHOOTING MONITORS!
Also point your tricorders at the actual hard drive.
And just so I write about three such things. The next and last one isn’t about computers.
Anytime somebody is hit by a truck or bus, they always blare their horns. ALWAYS. Because magically when you apply the brakes hard, the air horn goes off.
I used to drive commercially. And while the regular horn was on the steering wheel (olders ones were at the edge, so you could grip the wheel tight and honk. Newer ones are in the middle) its more akin to a car horn. The air horn is a switch on the floor board. You use your foot to blare that one.
So, when you slam on the brakes, you’re going to press the clutch too. You don’t want to stall, and lose power steering in case you could avoid the moron that jumped in front of you. So unless the driver sprouted a third leg to press the air horn, there is no way you’d hear the loud Hooooooooonnnnnk.
On a bus (they’re automatics these days) you could use your left foot for the air horn. But it’s really out of the way. So moron steps in front of your bus, and you press the brakes. Usually you stand on the pedal (literally). Your left is also supporting you, and nowhere near the air horn. (In that space where the clutch would be, most buses in the U.S. have floor mounted turn signals).
Ok, so the last one people might not notice as much, since not everyone drove a big rig or hauled self unloading cargo (bus driver). But it still bugs me to no end. Because ALL of them honk. I could also add, that the driver always asked “what the…” and squints before thinking “gee, maybe I should slow down or even press the brake.”
C’mon Hollywood, we swallow all the remakes, but can you at least try to try harder? Is it too much to ask?
Signed, Somebody that gets annoyed by the little things, like Alice Cooper.